Super Robot Red Baron: Episode 1 "Conspiarcy of the Robot Empire." (1973) Part 2

Welcome back to B-Movie Blitzkrieg and part two of our review of episode 1 of Super Robot: Red Baron. When we left out heroes things where pretty bad. Ken's brother had been kidnapped by the evil Iron Alliance and was going to become a human slave, as opposed to a monkey slave, or dog slave. Also, the S.S.I had failed to protect the giant robots at the Tokyo Robot Expo, and they had all been stolen by the Iron Alliance. And Mari hasn't once wore a school girl outfit. Like I said, bad man. So lets jump right back into the action here and see if things start to look up.

After a sound defeat and the only family you have left being taken prisoner, Ken decided to go for a nice drive in the country out to his brother's lab. You'd think he'd be out looking for his brother, or trying to find out where the Iron Alliance's hidden base is so he mount a rescue. Course, he might be in line to inherit all his brother's stuff now that he is gone. So maybe he's not that broken up about it. Whatever the case he's at the lab now. OK!

As he enters he hears the sound of equipment running, which it shouldn't be. So he rushes into the lab. What does he find inside? His brother! Wow, that y himself? Cause that's impressive if the answer is yes. Apparently the robot was built for Ken to use. No idea why. It's like he knew that the robots would be stolen. And if he did why not just prevent them from being stolen in the first place. eh.

The duo enter the robot in the foot and ride a hotel elevator up to the head. And I mean that literally. It's a hotel elevator. One of those nice glass ones that let's you look out over the city, or some massive lobby. They just used that. What makes it so sad is that they shot it from the outside, so it's clearly not in the confined space of a robot's leg. There is even sun reflections on the glass. *Sigh*

When they reach the top we see a control rooms full of buttons, and knobs, and switches. Oh my! The control room is in the left eye of Red Baron, which I would think would really affect Red Baron's depth perception. Anyway, Ken is like super stoked about this. Everything is just amazing to him. So of course when he is about to have a joygasim knowing he going to drive a giant robot and smash things, his brother has to be all Captain Buzzkill and pick this time to tell him that the Iron Alliance has killed the rest of their family. Way to kill the mood man.

While Ken is trying to deal with this devastating news, Ken's brother commands him to put his hands on his yoke. Do what with the what now? Oh...Red Baron's control yoke. Oh, good. I was worried there for a moment. Apparently the yoke will memorize his fingerprints to make sure that only Ken will be able to pilot Red Baron. After Ken places his hands on the yoke, the giant robot moves backwards towards a tunnel that leads to the surface and Red Baron breaks out to the surface. This footage will be used over and over again throughout the whole series to show Red Baron launching from base. It may even be reversed to show him returning at some point.





Ken decides to takes the Red Baron for a test spin. Somehow Ken's brother has somehow got out Red Baron's cockpit. He must of did it when Ken changed cloths, because he is now wearing his S.S.I. Cowboy outfit. So Ken goes stomping around his brother's yard, no doubt ruining the flowers in the process, and just as he's about to get hang of it they hear the sounds of rockets. Wouldn't you know know it Troy Robot has decided to make visit. Looks like it's time for some good old robot fist to cuffs!

So we get ready to fight. Ken yells to his brother asking him what he is suppose to do, but before he can answer Troy Robot knocks Red Baron the hell out. I mean one punch and he goes down. Never thought Red Baron would have a glass jaw, but there you go. Ken's brother tells him to pull the main lever to auto. I'm sure this means the robot will then do everything for it's self. Makes you wonder why we need Ken at all doesn't it? I guess so he can pull the Fight Lever. That's right, there is a fight lever. With fight lever on, Red Baron starts to kick ass.





Seeing as he is now going to be bested in a fair fight, Troy Robot brings out his spinning drill of death and starts trying to aerate Red Baron. Ken blocks most of the attacks, but a few find home and bounce of Red Baron's armor. After a few seconds of this, Ken's decides he has had enough of this and activated BARON PUNCH! Which is just him launching his fists at the bad guy. This seems to be standard equipment on all giant robots from Japan, since they all seem to be able to do it. After taking a set of giant metal fists to the chest, Troy Robot comes up with yet another plan and starts blasting away at Red Baron with laser from it's head. Red Baron is getting totally roasted now.

Back at S.S.I. headquarters the alarm goes off. Minoru Daigo, who everyone just calls Boss so we will too, is there to hear it and goes to a secret door and places his hand on it. A blue light comes over him for a moment and the door open and he steps into what can only be a 40 somethings bachelor pad circa 1973. It looks like the place your creepy uncle would take way to young girls too, to try to get into their pants. Lucky for us it doesn't stay this way, it soon changes over like the Spider-Friends rec room into a super secret spy H.Q. No only that, but Boss plays his piano in order to control the various items around the room.





After changing H.Q. from creepy shag pad to useful command center, he calls the other members of S.S.I. and directs them to Ken's location. Of course Mari jumps into her yellow S.S.I. sports car and as soon as she does a large phallic like gun extends from the roof. Only in Japan. Meanwhile Tetsuya also answer the call in his kick ass jeep. B.I. and Daisaku also rush to the scene. B.I. on his bicycle, of course, and Daisaku on his killer motorcycle. Of course Daisaku has to point out how much fast his bike is then B.I. cycle, much to B.I. annoyance as he screams "I'm vexed!" No, he really said that. I'm vexed.





At the giant robot fight, Ken decides the best way to avoid Troy Robot is to take to the air. Of course his fiendish foe has an answer for that and his head disconnects from his body and gives chase. So now Red Baron is taking laser blasts right up the old poop shoot, from a flying head. It's getting real embarrassing. Something must be done. I think it's time for BARON BARRIER!

You know, I don't know how he knows all these attacks. He didn't know where the fight lever was, but somehow knows every single special move that that this this giant robot is packing. However he learned it, the Baron Barrier is just Red Baron spinning in a circle real fast and that deflects laser blast back at Troy Robot knocking him from the sky. And I'm sure it took hours to scrap Ken's vomit off the walls after this little move.

On the ground the members of S.S.I have arrived just in time to be surrounded by Robotic Henchmen. There is one flaw in the Henchmen's plan though. All the S.S.I guys are in the motor vehicles, while they are on foot. So of course S.S.I. proceeds to just run the bad guys down with their cars. At least Tetsuya decides this is an unfair advantage and jumps from his Jeep to kick ass the old fashioned way. Daisaku on the other hand is completely content to just keep putting robotic body parts under the wheelt and his head disconnects from his body and gives chase. So now Red Baron is taking laser blasts right up the old poop shoot, from a flying head. It's getting real embarrassing. Something must be done. I think it's time for BARON BARRIER!

You know, I don't know how he knows all these attacks. He didn't know where the fight lever was, but somehow knows every single special move that that this this giant robot is packing. However he learned it, the Baron Barrier is just Red Baron spinning in a circle real fast and that deflects laser blast back at Troy Robot knocking him from the sky. And I'm sure it took hours to scrap Ken's vomit off the walls after this little move.

On the ground the members of S.S.I have arrived just in time to be surrounded by Robotic Henchmen. There is one flaw in the Henchmen's plan though. All the S.S.I guys are in the motor vehicles, while they are on foot. So of course S.S.I. proceeds to just run the bad guys down with their cars. At least Tetsuya decides this is an unfair advantage and jumps from his Jeep to kick ass the old fashioned way. Daisaku on the other hand is completely content to just keep putting robotic body parts under the wheel of his totally awesome bike. B.I. just not arrives and begins slashing and cutting up the baddies with this bike pump sword.





At the real fight, Red Baron is now beating the living crap out of Troy Robot. With a few devastating punches R.B. knocks him down for the count. Not happy with just putting his foe to the canvas, Red Baron picks Troy Robot up and throws him through the air. This turns out to be a big mistake. Instead of landing hundreds of feet away on top of some small poor fishing village with a satisfying crunch, Troy Robot's legs come off his body in mid air and form a giant boomerang. The body hovers a short distance away while the legs spin wildly at Big Red here, and somehow making the ground around him explode into sparks. Red Baron is totally getting fire bombed to death now.

In comes Ken's brother to saves the day. He notes that the main body is controlling the legs and tells Ken to attack the body with Elec-Trigger. Ken does as he is told and two huge guns appear on Red Baron's head and shoot massive bolts of electricity at Troy Robot, who explodes in a blaze of foam rubber glory. The same fate awaits the legs as another beam of super heated plasma arcs out to destroy them as well. Troy Robot is defeated, much to the joy of our heroes.

We now cut back to Prof. Deviler. He is disappointed in the loss, but commands Ken's brother to bring Red Baron to them. Uhhhhhhh...wouldn't that have been easier to do from the start? Like before he showed his brother how to use Red Baron and did the whole fingerprint thing, and it trashed the other super robot that must have cost billions to build? I mean that would have been boring, but it would have at least been logical.

Ken's Brother's mind control implants begin to do their work to try to force him to bring Red Baron too them, but despite the pain he is able to throw off their evil control. He is told that if he disobeys it will mean death, but he still refuses.





Ken discovers his brother in a heap on ground and runs to him demanding to know what is wrong. His brother tells him to take care of Red Baron, and not to let the the Iron Alliance defeat him. He then cuts the bandage from his neck to reveal the cutest little choker you ever saw. Now I think chokers are really sexy on the ladies, but like capri pants and thong underwear are not something men should venture into. Course he is rocking it pretty hard. I guess I'd have to see him a thong to see if he could change my mind about that too...*Cough* Any-hoo...

Ken's brother tells him that he has become a human slave to the Iron Alliance. And then...and then I must have missed something. I mean there has to be a scene missing here. We go from that to Ken running through the field yelling for his brother. When he finally does find him, he's being crucified not unlike Arnie in the Conan movie. Only without the all the vulture throat tearing out with his teeth stuff. How Ken's brother got like this we will never know as they never show it. All we know is that it has happened.

As Ken rushes up to save his brother, Iron Alliance Robot Henchmen appear and try to hold him back, but he fights his way through them trying to gain the top of the hill and save his brother. Not only that, but another evil giant robot appears called Big Bison. He has huge spinning horns on either side of his head, so I'm guessing that's where he got his name. Anyway, as Ken rushes forward the light on his brother's choker begins to blink faster and faster which seems to cause him more, and more pain until...

The episode ends. That's right folks it's a cliffhanger. If we want to find out what happens to Ken and his brother we have to tune in to the next episode.





Overall, Super Robot: Red Baron seems to be a fun trip through the 1970's before shows like this became real common place and before Power Ranger hit big in America. It's nice little campy slice of cheese pie from the Land of the Rising Sun and does make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It's the kinda thing you put on Saturday afternoon when it's too hot to go outside, or on snow day from school and just sit back and enjoy not having to think for a half hour or so.

It gets a 2 on the Cheese-O-Meter. It's actually really fun to watch and it's cheesiness is in that really good absurd way that makes it so much fun.

Anyway I still haven't decided what the next blog entry will be about, but I do plan to review more episodes of show in the future, so be sure to keep an eye out for that. So I'll see you next time, on the front line.

-Matt.

Super Robot Red Baron: Episode 1 "Conspiarcy of the Robot Empire." (1973) Part 1

Well look here. It's the grand return of the B-Movie Blitzkrieg. I heard the lack of demands for more of my particular form of movie review (which is pretty much me just ruining everything for you and telling you exactly what would happen. Oh well, I saved you from having to sit through it. SO YOU OWE ME!) and brought this little blog of mine back.

Today we aren't reviewing a movie at all, but instead episode 1 of the Japanese imported series Super Robot: Red Baron. The basic plot of this show is that a young good looking man, who is part of a team of heroes, finds himself piloting a giant robot in fights against other giant robots. Thing is this is the plot of about a hundred other shows from Japan. Hopefully in the course of the episode reviews of this show we will find out what makes this show unique, but to be honest I'll just be happy if I can write a review for all 40 episodes.

So I guess we should get this party started. You will know it is time to turn the page when you here R2-D2 beep like this...let's begin now.





The theme song to this thing is catchy. I mean really catchy. Look it up on the youtubes. Even more catchy then Zorro [Shameless plug]see our past review of this film right here. [/shameless plug].

Most theme songs tell you the plot of the show, this one kinda does that too. Kinda. It tells us that the earth is beautiful, and that we can't let the Iron Alliance seize it. Granted we don't know who the Iron Alliance is at this point, but we will. Just wait for it. We are also told that Red Baron is a million horse powered robot. So I have to assume he has a BMW engine under the hood. And...AND FEEL THE MIGHT OF THE ELEC-TRIGGER AND BARON HAMMER STRIKE!!!! They threw that in too.





We start out in what I can only assume is the future given the future looking HO scale sets we open on, but it's also says we are heralding in the 21st century. So it's the future of the past I guess. Whatever, no big whoop. We are told that the World Robot Expo will be held in Tokyo. Countries from all over the world have for some reason built giant killer robots and are now bringing them under one roof. I sure hope some mad man doesn't steal them all cause then we will totally be boned, but I'm sure that won't happen right?

It turns out that while all these giant robots are being moved to Tokyo and set up, the scientist that invented them are being kidnapped one by one. Ken, our hero, arrives at the Expo to see his brother, who is one of scientist that have worked on these giant robots. Ken's brother confides that he fears that he might be next on the kidnappers list. He also points out that the disappearances are similar to their own Parents and younger brothers four years earlier. Ken's brother then asks that he come to his research lab, that he has something he wants to give him.





Ken tells his brother not to worry, that S.S.I is here to protect him. Ken's brother is reassured by this. Now, you may be asking "What is S.S.I?" and you'd be right to ask, but they aren't going to explain that too you right now, because now enters our comic relief; The Bicycle Inspector! His intro tells you all you need to know about this guy. He promptly falls down while pushing his bicycle, throwing his butt full on into the camera. Now I'm not really sure if this guy is an inspector of bicycles who fancies himself a crime fighter, or an inspector that happens to ride a bicycle. Later episodes contain evidence for both theories, but for this one I think we will go with the latter.

We will be calling the Bicycle Inspector, B.I. from now on out to make it a little easier. Anyway, Ken asks what B.I. is doing here. He tells him that his mission is the same as S.S.I (Still no explanation of what S.S.I is.) and that he is here to keep an eye on the expo and make sure no evil is afoot. No sooner has B.I. said this then they notice a head being put on a mysterious evil looking robot. Ken's brother check the plaque next to the robot which says it's name is "The Invasion Robot Troy Horse" built by The Iron Alliance Robot Empire. OK, who exactly in was in charge of letting these robots in? "Oh Troy Horse ...Invasion ...Robot Empire. Sounds safe enough. OK, take in guys. Next robot please. Nuclear Powered Child Raping Robot built by The Kingdom of Molesters. Sounds good. Second door on the right." I think it's time to get a head of security guys.

It's at this point that the Troy robot comes alive and begins to monologue. He proclaims that the Iron Alliance will conquer all of Japan, and that they will all become slaves. He also claims responsibility for kidnapping the missing scientists, and that now they have come for Ken's brother. The head of the robot opens and out jump Putties! OK, not Putties, but Putty like. They are evil henchmen robot of the Iron Alliance. You know the kinda fodder that all these kinds of shows have to have. They attack B.I. first, but he pulls out his magic bullet proof umbrella and deflects the shots. Then he pulls a trigger and mows them down with a hidden gun inside the umbrella. I can only assume that B.I. has broken into Penguin's house and stole a bunch of his stuff at this point.





Now Ken joins up, with what we were kinda told, were the members of S.S.I and they begin to fight the evil henchmen with KARATE! HI YA! We finally get to find out what S.S.I is here. S.S.I stands for Scientific Secret Investigation Team. Wouldn't that be S.S.I.T? Guess not. I guess we should just be glad that it was wasn't Scientific House Secret Investigation Team. S.S.I's mission is to expose and destroy the enemies of mankind. That doesn't sound like a very scientific investigation to me. And with these flashy costumes, fighting out in public, they aren't very secret either.

We also start to get our introductions to the members of S.S.I at this point, along with the mandatory magical costume change. As each are introduced they are shown changing into a costume that looks like a Cowboy outfit that would have shown up in the 50's minus the hat. They also each have a color coded scarf which is also mandatory in these shows.

The members are as follows:

Ken Kurenai- He is our hero. In the real world he works a car dealer. His scarf is red or course.

Minoru Daigo- He is captain of the S.S.I. He owns a auto repair factory in real life. His scarf is white.

Tetsuya Sakai- Standard second man. Not as brave or good looking as the main Hero, but almost. He is an Auto Salesman in real life. His scarf is green.

Daisaku Hori-The pudgy comic guy. He is almost always the dumb one as well, having to have things explained to him and getting hit by the other members a lot for saying or doing something stupid. In real life he is Newspaper Copy Boy. His scarf is blue.

Mari Matsubara-The chick. That's pretty much all you need know, cause that's as deep as they are going to go into her anyway. In real life she is a News Photographer.

The team begins to fight better in their new Cowboy outfits and the tide turns in S.S.I's favor. This is when the Troy robot, who I guess has just been standing their this whole time, decides to get involved. B.I. pulls out his bicycle tire pump and aims it at the Troy robot. I don't know what he plans to do with that. It's just a pum....holy crap it's a rocket launcher! The pump handle also becomes a sword! Anyway he unloads on the robot to no effect. Ken grabs his brother and runs out of the building to escape the rampaging robot.





As Ken and his brother run for the car, Troy robot smashes through the roof of the expo center. Not only that, but robot henchmen follow them outside. As Ken fights them off, his brother looks on in horror as helicopters arrive and steal all the giant robots from the expo. Ken shoves his brother inside his car. The car speeds away as Ken continues to hold off the henchmen.

But Ken's brother isn't getting away that easy. Oh, no. Troy Robot notes the attempted escape and moves to intercept him. Ken's brother drives right into the giant robot's hand. Ken watches helpless, as the giant robot flies off with his brother as well as the rest of the stolen robots from expo. So right off the bat, our heroes have been soundly beaten by the forces of evil. They didn't save Ken's brother, they didn't keep the giant robots safe. S.S.I. sucks!





Now we cut to the stolen robots being carried out over the ocean. They are then dropped by the helicopters into the sea. Underwater trains are waiting to take the robots into the hidden Iron Alliance base. Now that is precision there. I mean what would they have done had the current pushed the robot a little off course and it didn't land on the train? Huh? Now you got a huge metal robot sitting uselessly on bottom of the ocean. And how come crazed mad men always have underwater bases? They always do. Eh, I guess these are questions for another day.

Anyway, Ken's brother is brought before the mastermind behind the Iron Alliance,Professor Deviler! Professor Deviler? What a name. I mean what other job could you go into other then super villainy with a name like that? Would you trust an OGBYN with that name? Or a Lawyer? Actually, maybe you would on that one. The point is, that like Doctor Doom before him, it seems Professor Deviler was destined to be evil.

Deviler now shows Ken's brother that the other kidnapped scientist have become "Human Slaves" (his words, not mine)and they are being made to modify the deadly giant robots they have stolen. Ken's brother asks if this is to be his fate too, but Deviler is after something else with him. He wants the Super Robot Red Baron! Ken's Brother refuses to turn it over to the Iron Alliance. Deviler then shows a video of Ken's Father, Mother, and younger Brother being killed. Deviler tells him that people who defy the Iron Alliance die. Ken's brother still refuses. The robot henchmen then knock him out, and prepare him for "Cybernetic Surgery" (again, his words not mine.) It seems that Ken's Brother is to become a human slave after all.

Things are looking pretty bad for the good guys here. Ken's Brother is to become a human slave. All the nations Robots are being converted into killing machines for the Iron Alliance. And Ken hasn't gotten into Mari's panties yet. It's bad people. So of course this is where I leave you hanging. Be sure to come back next time for the conclusion to this review, and see Red Baron go head to head with Troy Robot! See you next time on the front line.

-Matt

The B-Movie Blitzkrieg Strikes Back.

After the all too soon, and sad death of the web comic, "Simon Says" that I was writing and failed attempts to starts a new comic, I have needed a outlet for my creative juices in the mode of verse that most of the time takes the form of fart jokes. So from the vault of short lived ideas that were good, but I become disheartened and gave up on them, comes the return of the B-Movie Blitzkrieg. (Holds for Applause).

And what delectable treat of celluloid sweetness to I plan do make my grand return to all 4 of my fans (who maybe one of will actually read this)? Will I finally take on Gone with the Wind and give it a proper reaming it deserves? Sadly no. It won't even be a movie, but instead Episode 1 of the Japanese TV series "Super Robot: Red Baron." in a new segment that we (and every time I say we I pretty much just mean me and my cat, and honestly the cat does most of the work.) here at the Blitzkrieg are calling "SUPER ROBO: FUN TIME GO 7!!!!" Or SRFG...no wait, SRFT7...well we will work on that. So hope to see you on the front line here for some hot Robot on Robot action!