August 30, 2010

Duran Duran's A View to a Kill (1985)

Here at the B-Movie Blitzkrieg we have covered both Movies and TV shows so full of cheese that that would look at home on the common Wisconsin man's plate. But today we break ground as we move into cheesy music videos.

Now I want to say before we start that I love Duran Duran. I also love this song. And A View to a Kill is my favorite of the Roger Moore Bond films (The Spy Who Loved Me isn't a great as you think it is, get over it.) but the video to this particular 1985 hit is missing all the style and flair of videos like "Hungry Like the Wolf" and instead is loaded to the brim with the cheese. Let's take a look shall we.

We start out with an establishing shot of the Eiffel Tower lifted directly from the film. As the first electronic chords of the song hit, we see one of the members of the band (I'm not sure who actually. Other then Simon LeBon I can't tell these guys apart) drives up in his creepy, "Hey kid I got a puppy in here.", van. As he parks, he vanishes, only to reappear in the rear of the van in his futurist control chair that looks to be left over from some equally as cheesy 80's Sci-Fi flick.

At the press of a few glowing buttons to activate ,what a flashing light on the wall tells us is a scanner, a flying video camera escapes from the top of the van. Now when I say that a flying video camera comes out of the top of the van, I mean just that. This isn't a camera attached to some kind of R.O.V. or even a camera on wings. It's just a floating camera like someone would shoot the local news with. I mean look at the image above. Now imagine that flying around viva really bad blue screen work. That's exactly what you see in the video.

The camera, carried aloft by the ghost of Superman clearly, heads to the top of the Eiffel Tower to spy on the other members of the band as they stand around the observation deck of the Paris landmark. All of this is inter-cut with footage from the movie. Mainly Bond chasing Grace Jones up the tower.

Another of the guys who name I don't know. We also get our first look at Simon LeBon and what I can only assume is Tim Burton getting off the elevator. I mean I'm sure it's another member of the band, but he sure does look like Tim Burton. So if there is a guy in Duran Duran that has a Burtonisk look, then that's this guy. And finally we come to an model posing and an overly made up woman taking pictures of her. What? That's a guy? And a member of Duran Duran? Well who would have thought it.

Now the creepy van guy launches three more flying video camera. Simon LeBon is shown walking around with his state of the art for 1985, Walk Man. Do you guys remember how expensive these things where back then? I do. Now you can't give them away. Same way you can't give your copy of Lou Bega's "Mambo Number 5" away either. Or your copy of Eiffel 65's "Blue". Or Sugar Ray's "Fly". I think I've made my point.

At this point Simon blow up a helicopter.No, not really. We are lead to believe he did, but really it's a scene from the pre-credit sequence where Bond takes down a Russian helicopter with a smoke bomb in Siberia. It's really all the snow that let's you know that Simon didn't blow up a helicopter over Paris. Anyway, I guess this goes against the plan as the creepy guy gets an angry phone call in faux Russian.

And there is that lady again! Oh...still a guy, still a member of Duran Duran. Got ya. He's still posing as photographer taking pictures of a fine foxy lady on the tower. Then he suddenly turns and starts to take images of the footage from the movie. I'm guessing the story here is that Duran Duran are on the tower at the same time Bond is trying to catch Grace Jones. It's about this time that Simon uses his walk man to blow up Zorin's blimp! Wait...doesn't that happen in San Fran? And at the end of the movie? After Zorin's loses his blimp, creepy guy get Ladyman on the phone and he starts taking pictures of the guy from Duran Duran who isn't Simon, Creepy Guy, Lady Man, or Tim Burton.

The other guy as he will be known now (really should find out their real names shouldn't I?) moves over to one of those pay telescopes. He puts in his two cents and the telescope turns into a gun, who he of course turns on the crowd for some some reason. He also takes a few pot shots at Grace Jones viva the miracle of video editing.

Tim Burton is confused because he is blind. It's hard to hear gun shots when you're blind.

With a well placed shot The Other Guy takes out of one of Creepy Guys flying cameras. I have no idea who is bad guys and good guys here. I assume Creepy Guy is bad since he got cursed out in Russian. And Lady Man seems to be taking orders from him, so he must be bad too. Other Guy opened up on a crowd, but he is trying to take out Creepy Guy's cameras. Simon just seems to be blowing up random things through the use of movie footage, but they have all be bad so far so I assume he is good. Tim Burton hasn't done anything yet, no idea where he falls in all of this.

I guess Tim Burton is on the side of right after all, as he uses his accordion to attack Lady Man's ear. The true purpose of all accordions.

I guess Ladyman's head explodes from the accordion music, since we hear an explosion. We cut to Tim Burton making his escape from the tower.

This should be the end, still don't know who was good or bad, but Simon isn't done blowing stuff up. He is randomly punching buttons on his Walkman when a fan comes by and askes him if he is...and he stops the fan to say yes he is "Bon...Simon LeBon." Cheeky bastard.

Anyway since he was too busy being a smart ass he doesn't see that he has in fact set his device for the Eiffel Tower its self. The countdown approaches zero. Is all of Duran Duran going to be killed? Will all that will be left of this iconic Paris landmark be a smoking crater?

No...just a post card at one of the street vendors blows up. Yay! I guess...

Anyway you don't have to take my word on the cheese of this one. Try this link to a Youtube video (not mine) here.

Anyway that's it for this time, so until next time I'll see you on the Frontline.


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